Vote for Donald Trump

You should vote for Donald J. Trump if:

  • You think building a wall replacing the wall that is already there is not only feasible, but a good idea (no seriously people, there is already a wall there.)
  • You think the White House is in need of a garish makeover. (Have you seen Trump’s aesthetic choices?
  • You believe that a misogynistic, xenophobic and megalomaniac is the best person for the job of leader of the free world (he’s not.)
  • You think Trump is actually more emotionally stable than the other candidates (he’s really notand there are more than two.)
  • You believe that he is truly a self-made man (he’s really not…at all.)
  • You aren’t at all curious why his ex-wives are conspicuously absent and silent or you aren’t even aware he has ex-wives. (Where are they?)
  • You genuinely think an orange man with a dead possum on his head is a good representation of an American (I’d take Family Guy’s Peter Griffin over Trump…and he’s a fictional cartoon character.)
  • You think that anything he says makes sense (I can assure you it is all nonsensical news bait drivel.)
  • You don’t mind being influenced by radio host and certified lunatic Alex Jones (seriously, the guy is a grade A nut job.)
  • You haven’t read or watched anything other than media outlets purporting that he is genuinely a good candidate (I’m looking at you FOX News and Breitbart.)
  • You think he gives a shit about anyone other than himself. 
  • You have an intellectually stunted IQ.

I mean if you believe any of those things than, yes, you should probably vote for Donald J. Trump, the most vile American to ever run for office (and that includes Lyndon LaRouche.)