Well, last night saw another gathering of the loony tunes characters that has come to be known as a Republican “debate”. In actuality, it’s really just a forum of meglomaniacs who blather on about their xenophobia, misguided economic views and outright fascism under the guise of political discourse (notice I left out the part about their absolutely horrible debating skills…it’s really more like shit slinging).

Look I hate writing about this and Donald Trump. I do.  But like herpes, he is just not going away. Ultimately, he is irrelevant as a politician but since there is no avoiding it…

As Donald Trump goose steps his way across the country, pissing off the liberals, angering conservatives and stoking the fire of malcontent of the uninformed and sucking up primary wins like a Hoover vacuum, I feel compelled to keep reiterating the following: Trump will not win the presidency. My belief is that the first woman president will succeed the first black president (for those playing the home version, that would be Hillary Clinton…and yes, she IS a woman). 

“Oh yeah Keith, what about…“

Shhh, shhh, shhh…turn your head to the television, The Kardashians are on….

The absolutely worst part is that whatever cogent points or arguments Trump brings up (and if you dig you can find them) are usurped by his simple and absurd populist rhetoric that leaves the bearded beer belly NASCAR set delighted and all fired up. 

Now some of you reading this may not know who Kanye West is. You don’t need to. Close your eyes and picture Trump in black face, 30 years younger, replacing the dead beaver on his head with a tight trim, married to a half wit, wrapped in gold rope chains, traveling around the world bloviating about how awesome he is. That’s Kanye.

That’s Trump.

Frankly, aside from melatonin, the similarities are striking.

Let’s not forget that for both of them the preferred method of proclaiming their awesomeness is social media platform Twitter (that is, when the media isn’t salivating over the fact that they both get eyeballs…or in other words, revenue). Both of these nincompoop’s seem to feel Twitter is the best way to deliver their messages to followers and slam their detractors. Which only makes sense. The platform only allows for 140 characters. Again, not words…characters. Both recognize, rather astutely, that their audiences can’t really digest more than that. 

It’s important to note that Twitter isn’t a dialog…it’s a soap box. For the artist (or however one chooses to define Kanye) that is fine. For the politician (or however one chooses to define Trump). The way these two guys use Twitter is the same way that Morton Downey, Jr. used the television talk show. 

If you ever wondered what became of the Morton Downey, Jr. viewers…they’re alive and well…listening to Kanye and following Trump.

Despite my feelings about these two, neither are idiots and both are crystal clear about what they are doing…or they may have been when they started. I would imagine the success they both have achieved from the culture and media has infiltrated and distorted any semblance of reality their schtick may have been rooted in.

Now it’s just absurdist theater…not in a good way.

Look, in the pantheon of rap or politics, both will end up as sheet stains. Trump will leave his mark with his horrific products and buildings (he will not, under any circumstances, become president…the fear mongering the media is perpetuating about a Trump presidency is done simply to gather ratings and drive ad revenue…it’s pathetic…and I’m a media person) and Kanye will eventually slip into oblivion and end up like Vanilla Ice (it’s OK if you don’t know who that is…the fact that I do takes up that space in my brain that made me forget my mothers birthday for 20 years).

Much like Kanye’s career, this Republican 2016 Jackassery has finally reached its apogee…I hope.

And remember, the popular vote does not elect the president…regardless of the nominee.