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Random Thoughts June 29, 2016

  • Why do socks that come out of the dryer damp remain damp…even 48 hours later?
  • It doesn’t matter how familiar you are with the building elevator, you will exit an elevator and quickly look to our right and left to figure out where you are and the closest point of egress. 
  • For all that the Internet can provide, why I am still drawn to dog and cat videos and talking animals? That stuff beats the news any day of the week. 
  • Donald J. Trump is to American Politics what Two and A Half Men was to American Sitcoms. (which is to say, awful.
  • Smart phones are ironically named. Deliberately. 
  • Why does EVERYONE think they are entitled to gratuity? I’m in Denver on business and am embroiled in a non-verbal fight with the waitress in the restaurant. I’m sure it has something to do with gratuity because the buffet breakfast is covered (and the hotel clerk told me she gets one dollar per person) yet she somehow feels that for filling up my coffee cup, she is deserving of a little extra gratuity: and because I have not left one…yet, I get stink eye from her every morning. I’ll drop a fiver when I leave, but I don’t feel the need to drop a couple bucks every day. I’ll show her! 🙂
  • People really drive like assholes. Since WHEN is the speed limit NOT FAST ENOUGH?! 
  • Donald J. Trump is to American Politics what Ed Wood was to American Cinema (which is to say, dreadful.)
  • A dog has been trained to sniff out digital porn (flash drives, dvd’s, etc). Given that porn is just about everywhere, that dog has not slept since having been trained to sniff out digital porn.
  • We’re all awkward and no one is cool. 
  • I don’t feel any guilt about not wanting to own a Toyota Prius. 
  • Donald J. Trump is to American Politics what Norwegian Death Metal is to music (which is to say bombastic, unintelligible and as thought-provoking as flatulence.)
  • The BBC reported the Turkish terrorist attack 40 minutes before, the benchmark of American journalism, the New York Times. That should alarm you.
  • Society has fallen so far that companies are now having “Armed Invader” drills. You know, like a fire drill…but with a deranged lunatic wielding a gun and coming into your work place. It used to be called “Going Postal”, I am officially calling it “Going Cubical.”
  • I used to refer to myself as the “David Blaine of the White Collar World.” In other words, I was doing a really inane job, or “trick”, that no one else would do. Well, NOW the sonofabitch is ACTUALLY becoming one of the white-collar set; Blaine will be an Account Executive for Entertainment Studios. This HAS to be a joke or trick of some kind (and by trick I mean what a hooker does.)
  • Donald J. Trump is to American Politics what 50 Shades of Grey was to American Literature (which is to say puerile and idiotic.)

Viva La Revolucion!