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What No One Will Admit About NYC

The truth to being a New Yorker is that it is a lot like being in an abusive relationship. I should know, my relationship with NYC lasted 13.5 years and I still love that damn place. I always will. 

Now, don’t get all knotted up. I mean no disrespect to anyone involved in any sort of domestic relationship where a person is being abused. That shit is heartbreaking.

Most psychologists (and statistics) would agree that if you are involved in any sort of abusive situation you should leave. They’ll often say that if you don’t leave an abusive relationship, you may end up dead.

Frankly, that is why I left New York.

New York is a playground for the wealthy and whether intentionally or not (I say intentionally) the city and its elite residents are subjugating, if not entirely eliminating, the middle and lower class.

Just consider some facts:

  • The average rent within a ten-mile radius of NYC is $3554.00.
    • Now I suppose this is fine if you want to share your apartment with one or two other people or you want to pursue the struggling artist route or you are 25. But at some point that’s gonna get old and you are gonna want your own space. 
  • The average cost to purchase an apartment in NYC is +/- 1.2 million dollars.
    • OK, who the fluck can afford this outside of wealthy people? Doing very simple math that would mean the average person would need roughly 200-240k as a down payment. Of course this might explain why the average age of buying a home is now 35 versus 30 five years ago and 28 ten years ago. 
  • The f’ing subway system is absolutely abominable.
    • This is the PRIMARY way people commute around the city. In particular the middle and lower classes. New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli released a report in August of 2015 that had the aggregate on time rates for the subway system at 74 percent during the week and 81 percent on the weekends. In 2013, it was 80 and 85% respectively…Dear MTA, you’re trending in the wrong direction.
  • Williamsburg Brooklyn, long decried as the mecca of hipsterdom, has jumped the shark and is, like it or not, the new SoHo. 
    • In and of itself, maybe not so bad for commerce, jobs and taxes (provided the flucking companies actually pay their taxes) but considering the MAIN artery into Williamsburg (one of the fastest growing neighborhoods in the city) from Manhattan is the L train, which may be shut down for years to fix the tunnel that was damaged during Hurricane Sandy. On an average day 300,000 people ride the L train, which begs two questions. One, how will residents get into Manhattan to work? And two, JESUS, 300,000 people a day are traveling underneath the East River in a DAMAGED TUNNEL?! Oh, and three, WHY IS THE L TRAIN THE RED HEADED STEP-CHILD OF THE MTA?! (The G train would be the retarded red-headed third cousin removed of the MTA)
    • Face it, if you live in Brooklyn, no matter where, you are ONE HOUR from anywhere in the five boroughs. 
  • Data indicates that Domestic Violence is trending down in NYC, which is awesome.
    • My skepticism towards these types of statistics aside, I might argue that is only because people are working longer and harder and/or waiting for the God damn subway. 
  • 60% of NYC residents income goes to rent (Oddly, that 60% represents Brooklyn, with Manhattan residents only setting aside only 48%).
    • How does that compare nationwide? It is one of the worst. Consider that in NY State the average person would need to work 98 hours a week in order to afford a one bedroom place. IN NO STATE IN THE UNION DOES A 40 HOUR A WEEK JOB ALLOW YOU THE COMFORT OF AFFORDING A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT!

If I really wanted to, I could go on and on but the truth is that it is much too early to get this pissed off. I left NYC a few months ago. Am I better off? Marginally. I’m certainly happier and I don’t think happiness can be monitized…yet. And trust me when I say that I was one of the very lucky ones who lived in NYC… and I still left. Maybe I have PTSD. 

The City takes your money (in rent, food, entertainment, subway, etc. and that God forsaken NYC Tax) and violates you in ways you wouldn’t let Brad Pitt. Is NYC abusive? In the literal sense, no. In the figurative sense, yes. 

Is it in any way akin to domestic violence? Maybe self-flagellation would be a better analogy…but who is gonna look up what that means? 

NYC residents slog through their life finding pleasure and satisfaction in saying “I live in NYC. I’m broke, tired and pissed off, but I live in NYC!” Trust me, at some point that shit wears off. And if some residents haven’t reached that point yet, they’re either rich, young or just not paying attention (in some cases, all three).

Could NYC be the next gated community? Hells to the yes!

At the very least, we’re a few short years from New York City being more like Elysium than Escape from New York.

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Featured image by Matt Weber

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